dilemma..

im stucked. not sure how to move on from here. i have NO feel to study for exams. i felt so helpless now. having just missed 2 main papers and thought there were supp papers to help me, and that bloody sch just told me the exam timetable was planned for that particular batch for that particular year 1.

what's the freaking use of having the freaking supp paper if it doesnt help students from all batches but only that particular batch?
freaking sch have freaking system which simply just sux.

why am i studying?? i felt so lost. i dont wanna feel this way. it's so demoralising.
i'm agitated and frustrated. i kinda cant feel the logic behind me studying and suffering. should i have just gone for an advanced diploma instead of the damn degree which takes such a helplessly long time?

in debt for things that arent mine. kinda felt stupid suddenly. why am i so weak?
why cant i say NO? just wanna make others happy, how abt yourself, cindy?

give me some support that i'm doing the right things.
tell me im in the right job.
tell me im in the right course.
tell me im doing ok.
tell me i can let my mum retire soon....

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

apart?

hmmm... it's 2nd Oct. yesterday was 1st Oct and kinda our 1 year 5 month anniversary.
but it seems like it's only together for 1 year 3months. due to the fact that, maybe we're too busy? maybe i had a hectic travelling schedule? i've been travelling for the past 1 month to 3 different countries which, till now im kinda tired physically and mentally.

when i finally got back and i looked forward to rest and go home or meet him some of the weekdays, he had tuition or i have classes. when can i have his time to meet him or when can i have my time to meet him or rest?

work demands, studies flung. and we sort of drifted apart... why?

i think we lack communication...we aint as loving as before..maybe coz we aint as free as before? :(

: : My Dec 2007 : :

it has finally come to nearly the end of another year, 2007...

was listening to 987fm this morning on my way to work when Dan & Young talked abt "what were the best things that have happened in your 2007" and it had me wandered off to the thoughts, almost the whole day....

time now is 1:58am 29 Dec 2007, i'll be posting what has happened on 28 Dec 2007 and before..

28 Dec 2007

- was my 6th day @ my new company opp Har Par Villa (lol tat's wat i always say when pple ask where my office is)

- had a 'qing gong yan dinner' with the Just Married Mr & Mrs Seng + Ah long ge and Ah Yu @ Taste of Thailand (Chong Pang)

- had a chitchat session and ROM photo browsing where i saw my maggi mee head once again

23 Dec 2007 - cincin & taktak FIRST x'mas celebration

* my dear taktak brought me to tour ard marina square, die also don wan to tel me where he's bringing me to

*i told him, u really don wan to tel me? i can bring u there! he DONT wan to say wan to keep me in suspense..

*dinner time is nearing after the "tour" and he finally surrenderred by saying "we go the hotel beside Oriental, u know how to go?" .....i was like.. kns..beside Oriental so many hotel.. all i named, none was correct.

i was wondering if it's really beside Oriental ant..lol.
*when we finally walked out of marina square in the open linkway to the hotels, he finally told me "ok la i tel u, we are going Ritz Carlton." i was like OMG, wtf..RITZ CARLTON?! are you mad?

*hehe i din believe him so i said.. dont play la.. tel me where faster! coz booking time's very close liao!

*he still insisted "REALLY! we're going Ritz Carlton for free flow nuggets buffet!" den i dared him u sure ah, ok i bring u there..=p

*coincidentally, i saw the RitzC back hotel entrance so i RE-confirmed with him, SURE GOING IN? he said "YES!"

*we went in, went to the TOILET 1st. LOL..to my astonishment, kns he REALLY made a reservation! omg!

*the entrance attracted me with a DAMN high ceiling. attracted me with a DAMN mesmerising GRAND PIANO.
attracted me with a DAMN nice ambience. attracted me with a DAMN lovely, romantically planned xmas celebration. deardear, deardear...thank you for the sweetest xmas dinner:) it was my best xmas spent.

and i wanna my next xmas with you, and next, and next and next and next...............................

the high high ceiling lovely desserts~yummy~ our sumptuous xmas dinner!

thank you deardear

~muackz~

22 Dec 2007 - The day we call MR & MRS Seng

- a blissful event was held in sentosa which tied the knots of a young and loving couple

- we joined in to help out and have fun. most important of all, to witness the happy event with all our blessings
- on our way home, we decided to have woodgrove prata. waited for a freaking >45mins which came only drinks and naan. as usual my taktak SAYS he go pay bill, we go take car 1st. LOL... pple who knows will noe whether the bill is being settled.. hehehe...

The white angels

The mysterious couple behind the red fans Yohoo e-clubbers gift exchange!

wonderful events before dec 2007 coming up in next episode.....